Taking time to breathe

We are all running at a frenetic pace and sometimes we forget to breathe.  Yes I know this is a natural process, and you don’t really forget to breathe in and out, but how often do we forget to take a DEEP breath. Taking a moment to just allow ourselves to be? It is as if we feel guilty in saying, I am going to take a moment for myself.  There is something about how society views “me” time as being selfish, but in fact if we took time for ourselves, we might let that person in our lane, or we might say good morning as we pass someone by in Starbucks.  If we were kinder and gentler to ourselves, it would be easier to be kinder and gentler to others.  So I encourage you, take a moment to just breathe, and do it every day!

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Excuses

Have you ever noticed how many excuses we make in a day? Excuses for not reading, not doing work, not getting into relationships, you name it, we make them! Here is a little cathartic poem I wrote, which exhausted all my excuses and I was left with no choice but to Workout! Enjoy - Silvia www.insightscc.com

“Too Much”

by Silvia Siguenza

 

It’s time to go work out.

I am feeling,

Too Unmotivated,

Too Tired,

Too Lazy,

Too Busy,

To go work out right now, but I promise to go later today.

 

It’s later, but I still can’t go.

I’m feeling,

Too Fried,

Too Hungry,

Too Stressed,

Too Anxious,

To go work out right now, but I promise to go tomorrow.

 

Its tomorrow, my alarm is shouting at me.

I’m feeling,

Too Weak,

Too Depressed,

Too Embarrassed,

Too Overwhelmed,

To go work out right now, but I promise to go… at some point.

 

Where are my chips?

Where’s my soda?

Fries make me happy.

What about that brownie?

Anyone eating that?

What?

No, I wasn’t going to work out today!

 

I guess I should go work out now.

But, I’m feeling,

Too Broken,

Too Lost,

Too Lethargic,

Too Apathetic,

To go work out right now, maybe tomorrow.

Getting ready for the Wedding…

It’s that time, less than 2 months until the big day. As I was writing out my LONG list of to do’s leading up to the big day, I started to feel extremely nervous. Not the “cold feet” kind of nervous, but the “crap do I have time to get it all done” nervous.  The more I let myself feel nervous and less than resourceful, the more anxious I got. So in true coaching fashion, I asked myself what can I do, to help manage my state of being leading up to the wedding. What came to me was a simple yet effective NLP  strategy called “Circle of Excellence”.  It made me feel a ton better and so, I share it with you. Try it out and you’ll see how quickly you can shift your thinking!

Circle of Excellence Steps:
1. Start by imagining a circle on the ground in front of you.  If you have trouble conjuring up this image, do what cartoons do, and just pull a circle out of your pocket and place it on the floor.
2. Make your circle unique to you, add color, texture, sound, etc. 
3. Then ask yourself what state(s) of being you would like in your circle. For example in my case I wanted to be “sharp”, “positive” and “efficient”
4. You then need to think of a time when you had those states of being. Once you identify such a time, step into your circle fully accessing the time where you had the appropriate states of being.  If you have different examples for each state, then access them separately, e.g. 1st think of the time you felt sharp, step into the circle fully accessing the time you felt sharp, then step out of the circle. Think of the time you felt positive, then step into the circle again accessing the time you felt positive, etc.
5. Once you’ve added all your states of being to your circle, step into it one more time thinking about carrying this “Circle of Excellence” with you in the future.  For example, I visualized myself running all my wedding errands with these feelings and to make it even more vivid I saw myself crossing out to do’s from my list.
6. At this point you can give your circle a name or symbolic representation to remind you of this way of being. You can also pick up your circle and put it in a pocket or throw it on your head as a hat… whatever works for you so that you feel you are carrying it with you moving forward.

I hope you find this tool as useful as I did.  For more information or questions check out my website at www.insightscc.com 

Time, where does it go?

When I was in high school I wrote a poem entitled: “Time” and it went something like this:

If we spend all our time
Learning how to manage time
Aren’t we just waisting time?

I know it wasn’t that good, but for me it was the nut I needed to crack.  Years later, I’ve learned the value of time and have therefore become much more mindful of the limits and lack of control I have over time. For example, I can not control how quickly the clock ticks or when the sun rises. What I have control over, is what I agree to do with my time.  As a result I now make the determination of what trade offs I need to make when I decide to take something else on. 

There are times we all overestimate how much we can squeeze in to our day, but what we’re not being explicit about is what we have given up by agreeing to do that one more thing. If we were more explicit about the 5 minutes of quiet time we were giving up or the extra 30 minutes of sleep, we may be a bit more discerning about what we take on. 

I challenge you to be more conscious of what you are giving up when you accept “one more thing” and before you say yes to someone else or even to yourself, be sure you understand that trade off.

See Silvia’s website www.insightscc.com for a list of products and services.

Mirror Neurons

I recently was introduced to the concept of mirror neurons.  As you watch someone else perform an activity these neurons fire off in the brain as if you were the one doing the activity.  Further, it has been found that these neurons also fire off in your emotional center based on the emotion someone else is feeling.  This seems to be a basis for empathy.

This has lead me to ponder about the company we keep.  How did I make that leap? Well, if we are constantly around people that are sad, depressed, etc. then we will be mirroring those emotions, even if we don’t intend to. That unintentional mirroring seems as though it may lead us down a path that may be less than fruitful.  In the converse, if we surround ourselves with people that are happier with a more positive nature, perhaps that can help us.

Now I’m not suggesting that we should be happy all the time, merely that sometimes we wonder why we don’t feel like ourselves or wonder why we get so tired or drained from being around someone that is negative or energized after being with someone that is positive, it seems that we have our biology to thank and specifically know that it is our Mirror Neurons at work.

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Change is Constant…

As I sit and listen to a friend tell me about the reorg at work, the kitchen remodel at home and their spouse changing their job, my mind searches for the appropriate thing to say to provide the appropriate amount of support. What is it that I want to say? Oh yes, I sense the words coming: “Well you know, the only constant in life is change”. 

I’ve noticed that we tend to use this adage as a way to comfort in times of heightened chaos. During the times when things seem to be out of our control, the only way we can calm our frazzled nerves is to blame the universe and it’s law that says “Change is Constant”. Although I agree that change is something that sometimes seems to happen to us, there are other times when we put ourselves steps closer to self medication or mental breakdowns.  We often know that we have 2 or 3 big changes happening and we decided to take on one more. Or sometimes we have so much change happening in the parts of our lives we have less control over that we then begin to “fix” (or shall I say change) the things we do control. 

Given that we  put ourselves in this situation, we should do each other the favor of shining the light on this human pattern.  Instead of telling a friend, colleague or relative, ”Change is constant”, you can try “Are you taking on too much?” or “Have you taken time to recharge your battery”. Anything you can do to help someone pause and take stock of what is on their plate is enough to help keep them sane for that much longer.

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The Inner Critic

So often we have big dreams. Dreams of owning our own property, changing jobs or just to do something different with our life.  Often as we dream big and start feeling good about the possibilities, we begin to get disrupted by our inner critic. The critic tells us it is all impossible, that we can’t, we are incapable, or that it will never be. Often times we dismiss the critic, referring to it as the thing that keeps us “real” or “grounded”.  Do we need to succumb to the inner critic? To allow it to rule our lives and dreams? Perhaps not. First you need to take a moment to assess whether the inner critic is hindering or helping you. Ask yourself, “Is this thought or voice of service to me?” If it is, then just know that it is there to continue guiding you as you move through life. If it is not helping you, then it is time to let it go!  

So how do you fight your own critical voice? That’s just it, you don’t! The key is to learn how to integrate it so that it is in alignment with the rest of you, not in conflict with your other thoughts and actions. There are many ways of letting go or integrating the inner critic, below are just a few:

Sometimes it’s enough to acknowledge that the inner critic is there. It loosens it’s hold from your thoughts by virtue of conscious awareness of its presence.  Still, for many of us, it has a strong hold and if that is the case for you there are other avenues to try. You can use a coach or therapist as a guide, or you might try the following.  First, find out what the intent of the critic is, to know it’s purpose is to acknowledge the reason it exists. By understanding the purpose, you can opt for a more integrated way of honoring the inner critic and it’s purpose. For example, if your inner critic’s purpose is to keep you financially secure, you might put a plan together to ensure financially security while you pursue your dream. By putting a financial plan together, you fulfill the inner critics purpose in a way that is integrated with you and your dream instead of in conflict.  The more in harmony you are with all parts of you, the more you will accomplish. Try it out, you may be surprised with what you find!

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On Coaching

Coaching is something that has cropped up more and more recently.   As some of you may have seen, even Scott Baio has a life coach, to help him get ready for marriage and a baby.  What is the appeal of having a coach? I think the appeal of a coach is the bias for action.  A coach will help you identify the gap between where you are today, and where you want to be in a given area of your life (or particular circumstance). By helping you identify what you want and then guiding you through removing obstacles that stand in your way, you can make great strides towards the goals you have identified.  Some people innatley function this way, coaching themselves through this process, others of us can’t see the forrest through the trees, and therefore its can be helpful to have a coach give you a different perspective on what you’re seeing.  If you have something your trying to tackle, big or small, try out a coach!

www.insightscc.com